Sh*t my housemate says

Today, I'm gonna reveal the shittiest stuff ever said to me. No la, just exaggerating cuz it makes things more interesting. Anyway, our (my housemates and I) means of communication is via shouting and screaming our heads off at each other. Yeah, I live in a dysfunctional household. When we don't feel like screaming, we text each other- the only normal thing I get around here #self pity. Maybe I'll miss them a teeny weeny bit when they graduate this year. OK la, reasonably much. They're actually super nice people <3

Scenarios:

#1

I was recently admitted to hospital for a genetic disorder (you can read about it here) and Housemate said to me, "Oh well, now you get to park at the reserved lot for the disabled".

#2

Sometimes I get carried away singing my favourite song (read: sings loudly at the top of my voice). Housemate recorded it from outside my door and wouldn't delete it. It's blackmail material -_-

#3

Housemate called my dress a 'bath mat' when I asked for his opinion (follow this link here to see the dress). I still think it's nice *stubborn biatch*

#4

I was complaining to Housemate about how tired I was despite not doing anything. His reply: "Did you masturbate?"

#5

I asked Housemate for a favour (I wanted to borrow his pass for the day). His reply: "Yeah sure, here it is. I leave the house only when the sun goes down anyway. I'm a vampire."

How awesome are they? Jealous much? :D