Saturday, April 28, 2012

Exams, How I Love You

It's my favourite month of the year #sarcasm cuz exams are just around the corner. Every December and April, I'm screwed. Ilovemyself.

#1 Messed up body clock
30 minute naps become 3 hour ones and I end up waking in the middle of night.

#2 Messed up hormones
Pimples are mushrooming on my face and 90% of the time I'm in a foul mood.

#3 Messed up head
I feel immensely guilty when I slack the whole day.

#4 Messed up nutrition
I start eating instant food. My dinner consists of baked beans and frankfurters which of course doesn't contain any nutrients. So I take shitloads of vitamins to replace any nutrients I lack and bananas to prevent constipation wth.

P.S: Please do not follow this diet cuz you may end up malnourished and die WTH.

#5 Messed up vital stats
I ate three tubs of Haagen Dazs' and uncountable bars of chocolates within a week cuz they're happy foods so now I'm a 32-100-34.

#6 I will rot in hell
Numerous empty promises I made to my friend to study in the library cuz I always end up ffk-ing him so much so that I qualify to be a pilot now.

Every December and April I'm filled with regret and remorse for not studying at the beginning of the term like I promised myself. 

This is the typical life cycle of a student (unless you're a nerd or a genius or seriously hardworking).

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The One Thing I Can't Make B Do

Is watch a horror movie with me.

You bet I tried all sorts of methods to get to him to watch. I called him a 'chicken' and his reply was 'I'd rather be a chicken than watch a horror movie.' Where got people like that one? I rolled on the floor shedding tears also kena ignored. He'll just step across the spinning mass on the ground to reach for the remote control. Walaoeh. Heartless can. Basically all my efforts went down the drain. HE JUST WON'T WATCH wth.

I don't know why I love watching horror films so much cuz they actually scare me shitless. Then after watching, I one week never bang sai lo cuz no more shit (shitless already ma). Most of the time I cover my face with a pillow and stuff my ears with cotton wool so that I neither see the ghost nor hear the scary background sounds but sometimes tak sempat. You know la, the ghost always comes out when you least expect it.

So I'll be left traumatised and regret not listening to B in the first place cuz my mind will start playing tricks on me #hallucination especially when it's raining heavily and the wind is howling outside my window AT NIGHT. It's the perfect day for a crime since all the tracks will be washed away by the rain. I usually end up sleeping with the lights on. And I avoid looking at mirrors cuz I expect to find a masked man staring back at me, holding a bloody knife WTH. 

After a while however I forget about the experience and go back to persuading/ pestering/ annoying him. Muahahaha. Sometimes I do feel bad about bullying him. But when I feel bad I stop being bad and become awesome instead- adapted from Barney Stinson. (I still haven't got my way so you don't have to sympathise with him ok)

In any case, I'm currently devising an evil mastermind plan to get him to watch a horror movie with me. Wish me luck!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Second Thoughts

I was BBMing a friend of mine who had just started working and we both ended up complaining about how working life sucks the energy out of you big time. Although I haven't stepped into this phase of my life I can roughly guess how it will be. Please I have one of the best-est imaginations ok.

He's an accountant and I will be a (future) pharmacist. So since we cliqued really well cuz we both enjoy complaining (it's me really), I told him I'd have a depressing profession in like, a year's time. Please la if you think a pharmacist equals a professional trained to read doctors' handwritings then you can eat your words. (Almost) All the prescriptions now are computer generated so anyone can read it. Muahahaha.

As I was saying, it ain't no bed of roses when you enter the working circle unless you inherit your family's company and become the CEO then that's another story. If you're a:
i.  Healthcare professional- Surrounded by terminally ill/ dying patients
ii. Accountant- Surrounded by colleagues struggling to survive in the office

Conclusion: All professions same-same la.

Which brings me to Corrinne's Future Life Plan:
Plan A: Gwai gwai graduate and become a practicing pharmacist

Plan B: Become a blogger WITH A SOURCE OF INCOME LA DUH if not how will I survive with no money. This is the funnest job ever cuz I kinda like writing. Non factual stuffs of course. But I change aspirations pretty often so I may quit anytime. If you look at the history of, it only had 3 entries in 2011 wth.

Plan C: Work as a clown in Disneyland/ Universal Studios/ Genting Highlands cuz it brings me one step closer to fantasy land. Who knows one day you'll see me making balloons in the shape of animals and handing them out to children. 

And if all else fails, I have a Plan D:
Become an amoeba (parasite) and live off my future husband. Muahahaha. Joking. JOKING ok. Do I look like that kind of a person to you?

Anyway, note to self: do not let Mum and Dad see this post or else I'll end up in the tong sampah with my body chopped up into 16 kerats and packed in black garbage bags outside my house wth. No la, I'm the bao bei nv er ie, the apple, banana, orange, heck, even durian, of their eyes. They'd never do that.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Battle of the Voices

A recent research shows that women feel happy when their husband/ partner is upset. I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP. If you don't believe me, you can read the article here.

Personally I find this is kinda true. Seeing B get angry brings me joy wth. And 99% of the time I act as the instigator (I admit). Before you go away judging me as a new species of monster, hear me out. I come from Venus anyway so you don't have to bother trying to understand what goes on inside my pea-sized brain. Heck sometimes even I don't understand myself.

How the quarrel starts:
I show B a picture of a girl I deem pretty.

*shoves girl's picture in B's face* "Do you think she's pretty?"


"Why? I think she's pretty though."

"Hmm. She's ok looking I guess. Just a nice nose lor."

"So you do think she's pretty."


"But you said she has a nice nose. If a girl has a nice nose, it means that she's pretty. You think she's prettier than me!"

*starts to get a little angry* "....."

*starts to get a little happy* "You do think she's pretty. Come on.... admit it."

"So what if she's pretty?"

*starts to get angry now* "Ha! You finally admitted that she's pretty."



*angry at each other*

When everything cools down, we have a laugh about it.

"Why do you always do this to me?"

"I'm training you to be more patient. Obviously you lack patience cuz you get angry so easily. Pfft." *does a drama queen eye rolling action*

And then we start Battle of the Voices Round 2. It's a never ending cycle.

I think it's cute wth. But then again, I'm delusional. Oh well.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Corrinne is Domesticated

One of the things I hate the most is grocery shopping but bo pien I still have to do it unless I want to die of starvation. It's my weekly errand exercise which I suppose is beneficial for my health. Studying overseas has made me so independent (although a handful of people will disagree with this) over the last three years *pats self on back* Ok la, studying anywhere away from home for that matter.

When I first enrolled in college I stayed in the student hostel. On the first night I waited to be served dinner. Manatau they didn't cuz it wasn't a catered hall wth. I waited from 6pm. Until 7pm. By 8pm I was too hungry I ended up eating the sausage buns I brought with me (luckily I had food) or else I wouldn't be typing this entry.

Ok, that was stupid of me but let's not dwell on that fact anymore. Anyway, I really dislike grocery shopping cuz I'm an indoor person wth. The more I stay at home the better. In fact my daily routine during the holidays consists of sitting and sleeping so much so that I feel like a vegetable minus the stalks (lembik). You can literally see the flab on my tummy beginning to form.

Eh hello it's not that I'm lazy but every time I want to leave the house I have to prepare myself mentally, physically and emotionally for whatever torture the weather hurls at me ok. The hurdles in life. It's so cold outside my knuckles turn blue. I even broke down and cried once WTH. HAHAHAHA. (I don't understand how the angmohs can just wear a shirt and shorts and play football. Maybe cuz they're doing sports but I'd still drop dead frozen.) Plus I don't own a car. Even if I did I can't drive. I expect to be driven around cannot meh *arrogant*

And then, after buying the stuff I have to walk back. Although it's just a 7 minute walk, with 2L of milk it feels like an hour *sigh* Never mind la, I am willing to sacrifice my arm for milk. See... you don't have to be envious of my life #self pity

By the way, I always have the option of buying groceries online. Muahahaha. But then the way I choose my chicken and fruits is worse than choosing a husband wth #picky I think the promoter would die looking at me do my shopping. My chicken must not have a single feather sticking out of it while my banana must not have any black spots. When I bring them home after hours of choosing I find out that they aren't as perfect as they seemed. So bek chek.

True story.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

When I had 9 pounds and 35 pence

I find myself caught up in embarrassing situations most of the time. But since I'm courageous, brave and shameless I'll relate the story for the world to read wth.

Embarrassing story 2 happened on a windy spring afternoon when I went for lunch. I happy happy ordered food, finished almost half the plate and found out I only had a little cash with me. And they don't accept cards! Where got shops don't accept cards one? Please la 21st century already ok! Time for an upgrade. The meal cost 16 pounds but I only had 9 pounds and 35 pence with me wth. *sigh* Don't know why so suay. I was on the verge of asking the waiter to chia me but my skin thickness measures only 15 inches, not thick enough to do such a thing yet.

Anyway I then went frantically searching for a cash machine. (No, I didn't offer to wash their plates although that was what I told B. HAHAHA. He didn't believe me of course.) 10 minutes later, when I returned to the shop I pretended to be on the phone. No la I was really on the phone with B. No money? Call B. Lost my way? Call B. Constipated? Call B too. Calling B is what I do best. It's my field of expertise *yeehaa*. Come on la, communication is important in a relationship ok.

So I entered the shop #like a boss to pay for the meal, with a sheepish grin plastered on my face and with my Blackberry in hand so that I don't get labelled as "The Girl who couldn't afford to pay for her meal" and therefore become blacklisted from the shop, which will eventually result in my never eating chicken rice again for the rest of my life in the UK (Dang, they have good chicken rice). At least I have a phone. That's proof that even if I had no money to pay them I still could pawn my phone for a plate of chicken rice wth. I needed to redeem myself a little. Just a little.

Pai seh ok. I probably won't be going back there anytime soon. At most I'll ask B to ta pau their chicken rice for me wth.

I'm actually not so bin poi kau one. Maybe just bin poi kau two.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

How To Pick A Fight With Your Significant Other

Over highlighters wth.

You know la, I'm the queen of making something out of nothing I'm beginning to think that I'm actually a real magician. Man, was I adamant in believing that magic was not just an illusion when I was younger. Seeing is not always believing.

How to start a quarrel:

Sceranio 1 (Applies especially well if you're in a long distance relationship)
When B says that he needs new highlighters, you interrogate him kao kao like a criminal:
"Why do you need them?"

"Mine has run out of ink."

"Why must you buy so many then? Just buy one." (note the s in highlighters)

"Cuz I need at least 3."

"Why 3? You only have two hands and it's not like you use both of them at once.


*feels a little mean so tries to patch things up* "You can have my highlighters. I insist. I've got so many I don't know what to do with them. Pink, purple, yellow, blue...."

"But I need them tomorrow."

"Can't you wait?"


"Why not?"

*lazy layan me already*


Scenario 2 (Applies well for short distance relationships)
When both parties are using a different colour each (B's using blue and I'm using pink) Go ahead and suggest exchanging colours:
"Let's exchange colours. I want to use blue now."

"I don't want to use pink."

"Why not? Pink is nice and it's not a girly colour." *accuse him of being sexist* "I insist on using blue. Give me the blue highlighter!"

"I don't want."

"But I want."


*Snatches highlighter away*

Scenario 3
Draw on his face with different colours when he's sleeping.

Scenario 4
Show him a bo song face and break his highlighters in half.

Scenario 5
Hide all his highlighters so he can't find them.

Scenario 6
Change the inside/ 'heart' of the highlighters so they become different colours.

Scenario 7
Place the nips of two different highlighters together so they become one horrible, disgusting colour.

Scenario 8
Hit the highlighter hard on the nip so that it goes in and becomes flat.

OK I should stop now before you people think I'm evil beyond imagination.

Disclaimer: Do not attempt this at home as it may result in people getting hurt (What? A highlighter can also double as a weapon. They're kind of hard.) Anyway I do it just for fun wth. Plus I've mastered the art of temper controlling so I know when to stop myself before the temperature reaches a gazillion and one degrees. I MAKE A VERY BAD COUPLES' THERAPIST SO DON'T CONSULT ME UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVEN IF I WERE THE LAST PERSON LIVING ON EARTH.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Salzburg, Austria

Note: If you haven't noticed, I've included a 'Follow Me by Email' app on the right of my blog. For those who still can't differentiate between left and right (like me), your right is here ------------------------------------------------------------->
By submitting your email, you will receive updates from cuz as you can see I've been shamelessly sharing my blog link on facebook. To the people who don't know me that well, I may present myself as a self-absorbed, annoying person wth.

Plus, I promise to update at least 3 times a week cuz nuffnang will be monitoring my blog traffic before I qualify as a glitterati member. Muahahaha. *determined* Say if I wanted to wear a bikini to the beach, I don't know about you but I darn well will work hard at toning my body up wth. Determination! It's something along those lines anyway.

If you like what you're reading (and seeing) and if my shameless pics don't give you nightmares, submit your emails and receive updates so you don't go 'aiks, no updates today. What a waste of effort typing the web address out'!! Unless you want to visit my blog everyday to generate more traffic for me then that's ok. Muahahaha. Thank you for reading my long ass introduction. I know I'm long winded!

Day trip to Salzburg from Munich.

#1 Salzburg Fortress

You have to take cable cars to go up so if you're scared of heights you can skip this tour and just use your x5 optical zoom to take pictures of the fort. (Plus the fort was already closed by the time I arrived) However, apparently the view of Salzburg is magnificent from the top so if you decide to overcome your phobia, you might as well take a trip there.

#2 Man on the globe. He stands guard over the fortress.

From afar we thought it was a real person wth.

#3 Love locks- to symbolise a couple's everlasting love (for pessimists, if there is such a thing).

I suppose some people can be as delusional as I am. Like it or not, we all live in Fantasy Land one way or another. When Friendster was still widely used 10 years ago, the location on my profile was Fairy Land wth.

#4 Shopping street.

Bickie and I after we experienced a sugar rush cuz we ate desert- black forest cake and ice cream pie.

#5 Mozart's Birthplace

#6 Mozart's Residence

I fell asleep while listening to his songs (due to the calming effect) and almost fell off the chair wth. Yep, we pretty much stalked Mozart from his birth to the era where he gained popularity.

Oh now I remember, something embarrassing happened in Austria too. I'll write about that in another entry. Muahahaha. And no, I did not fall off the chair in front of everyone.

#7 Mirabell Palace and Gardens

If you watched the classic film 'The Sound of Music', this is where the von Trapp children sang 'Do-Re-Mi'.

#8 My unicorn friend smiling down on me <3 I told you I lived in Fantasy Land so I believe in the existence of unicorns.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Text Language

I'm beginning to think that my Whatsapp/ BBM/ Skype/ MSN/ normal mobile texting buddies hate me. Cuz I'm too lazy to type proper sentences and always use simplified words, way simplified words. So now I'm one heck of a lonely girl cuz nobody wants to text me *sheds a tear* Here's a list of the words that frequently pop up in my text messages:

1. Gris- Greece (cuz I plan on going to Greece during the summer)
2. Huni/ suni/ funi- Honey/ Sunny/ Funny
3. Dowan- Don't want
4. Lidis/ Lidat- Like this/ Like that
5. Mitup- Meet up
6. B2in- Between
7. Gr8- Great
9. Dono- Don't know
10. Nomo- No more
11. Sumo- Some more
12. Laf- Laugh
13. Gd9- Good night
14. Lmk- Let me know
15. D- Already

For the other unlisted words, in text language, just drop the vowels. For example, srsly (seriously), cls (class) and pls (please).

... And the list goes on. Faster go and memorise them now so we can text each other.

I used to be the person who loathed texting in this manner cuz I find it hard to interpret them but I guess I don't anymore. Please la I was the girl who used to think T.T was the short form of tata and each time my friend sent me a text with T.T, I'd reply with an abrupt bye wth.

For example, "I can't my keys anywhere. T.T" Then my reply would be, "Aww. Try looking in your pockets. Bye!" :S Or "I got kicked in the shin today. It hurts like mad. T.T" "I'm sure the pain will go away soon. Try rubbing some medicine on it. Bye!" I hope my friends didn't feel like I was brushing them off. :S

Now Corrinne is THE PRO. Thanks to the urban texting language dictionary ie; the Corritionary wth. Typing like this saves me a lot of time and energy ok.

However, me being me, I know my limits. I never ever text Mum like this or else I'll get nagged about the importance of using proper Queen's English. Hehe.

"Hi Mum. Juz 2 letya no, I'm gud. Whn u fnly cn rd my txt lang w/o hvin my sis intrprt it, u'll grad wif 1st cls hons."

I think if I started spelling 'free' as 'fri' no one would ever text me again.

Friday, April 6, 2012

The Price

There is a price for everything. You know that's true. Please la when you go to the supermarkets, everything there is priced. Don't bring free food samples into the scenario ok.

If you're famous, you're bound to have haters no matter what you do, so the saying goes 'haters gonna hate'. They send you hate emails/ letters and judge your very being without even personally knowing you. If you donate half of your earnings to charity, you're doing it to gain popularity. Ask any celebrity and they'll tell you.

If you're pretty/ handsome, you went for plastic surgery (most celebrities do anyway but you get what I mean. In fact Korean pop idols all look the same to me I started to suspect that they went to the same plastic surgeon. Hahaha.)

If you're rich, your business must be illegal.

People are quick to jump to conclusions (and I sometimes may have unknowingly done so too ie, in the case of Korean pop idols). Who are we to judge when we ourselves aren't perfect (unless you are one self righteous person who honestly believes that you're holy)?

Heck, you don't even have to be popular or pretty or rich to be judged. A simple deed of bringing a coffee for your boss will start rumours going in the office and within what is less than a split second, your colleagues have turned their backs on you and you have become an ass-kissing, shoe-rubbing *insert whatever term you please* of the company.

So basically what I'm saying is, we ought to change our mindsets. Maybe that's easier said than done. Most people are NATOs (No Action Talk Only) after all... like me. Muahahaha. Which is why I've come up with a 99.99% foolproof solution for you and that is to... jeng... jeng... jeng... wait for it...

Turn a deaf ear/ blind eye.


Disclaimer: When all else fails please don't come running to me and blaming me for your ignorance so don't heed my advice. Muahahaha.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

I Went to Germany

So this Easter I went to Munich, Germany. I'm not gonna write about the history of Germany cuz you can get that off Wikipedia. (Read: Cuz I'm lazy). Go, go read to gain extra knowledge.

*gives readers a 5 minute break*...

I bet you're still on this page. Oh well, I'm more interesting than Wikipedia wth.

#1 Pretzels- What comes to mind when you think Germany

I never liked pretzels until I ate it in Germany T_T And they come in other flavours too. I had a cinnamon flavoured pretzel and it was so good I shed many tears while eating it. Too bad, being the glutton that I am, I gobbled the whole thing up before I could take a picture. Muahahaha.

#2 Direction post- A picture every tourist must take of #kiasu tourists

#3 More pastries and stuffed pretzels

And more food that I don't remember the names cuz I only cared about eating them. What la, I forgot to take a picture of the menu ok.

#4 Breaded pork in creamy peppercorn sauce and chips with a quarter of a tomato and a salad leaf

#5 Pork knuckle stabbed with a knife and potato dumpling

#6 Something beef and potatoes

Please note: The names of the food above may have simply been made up by the author.

#7 Alpsee

I genuinely thought it was called Alpsee cuz you can see the Alps from here. See Alps... Alpsee. Get it? #lame

The Alps is the snow covered mountain at the far back of the picture. Ok, go hunt for it now.

*gives readers another 5 minute break*

Now gather around, let me tell you the story of how I got up to Neuschwanstein Castle.

#8 At the railway

Info- How to get to Neuschwanstein Castle from Munich:
Take the train from Munich train station to Fussen. Travel time: 2 hours
And then take a bus from the train station to your destination.
(My blog can be informative too)

Off topic: Blue shirt guy's photography skills = FAIL

#9 At the foot of the hill

The buses don't drive you all the way up to the castle which is on top of the mountain. You can take a cab, a horse driven carriage or use bus number 11 (ie, walk) to get there. By the way, the number 11 represents your legs *meek attempt at joke*

#10 Schloss Hohenschwangau (another castle nearby)

#11 Neuschwanstein Castle

There's a history behind this castle but I spaced out 83.2% of the time during the tour so go google it if you really want to know. The only thing that really interested me was the fact that this castle inspired the design of the castle in Disney's Sleeping Beauty. I think this courtyard is the place where the three good fairies sprinkled fairy dusts on the guards and people to put them to sleep when Princess Aurora pricked her finger on a spindle in the movie. I watched the movie a gazillion and one times, I should know *lives in a fantasy world* Muahahaha.

Anyway, we decided to use bus number 11 so that we could take in the scenery as we went up. It was freaking tiring ok. I think I complained 90% of the hike instead of admiring the view and spent the remaining 10% camwhoring. In case you don't believe I walked the whole way up, I took some pictures as proof!



#14 The peak

By the time I reached the top I was so tired I fainted and collapsed. No la, please I'm stronger than you think.

It was tiring nevertheless so we decided to take the horse driven carriage when we went back.


But by the time our tour ended (and after we hung around longer to camwhore) the last carriage was fully booked and there were no cabs about. This is the picture I took as I watched the horses trot away without me.

I stood there with 2 drops of tears rolling down my cheeks T_T

Horse... Y?? Y U NO WAIT FOR ME??

So I rolled my way downhill. Cuz I bo lat walk all the way down. Surprisingly, it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be.

No la, I walked down again. Bo pien. Unless I stayed up there until the next morning. By then, the caretakers probably would have found my frozen corpse.