Thursday, April 12, 2012

How To Pick A Fight With Your Significant Other

Over highlighters wth.

You know la, I'm the queen of making something out of nothing I'm beginning to think that I'm actually a real magician. Man, was I adamant in believing that magic was not just an illusion when I was younger. Seeing is not always believing.

How to start a quarrel:

Sceranio 1 (Applies especially well if you're in a long distance relationship)
When B says that he needs new highlighters, you interrogate him kao kao like a criminal:
"Why do you need them?"

"Mine has run out of ink."

"Why must you buy so many then? Just buy one." (note the s in highlighters)

"Cuz I need at least 3."

"Why 3? You only have two hands and it's not like you use both of them at once.


*feels a little mean so tries to patch things up* "You can have my highlighters. I insist. I've got so many I don't know what to do with them. Pink, purple, yellow, blue...."

"But I need them tomorrow."

"Can't you wait?"


"Why not?"

*lazy layan me already*


Scenario 2 (Applies well for short distance relationships)
When both parties are using a different colour each (B's using blue and I'm using pink) Go ahead and suggest exchanging colours:
"Let's exchange colours. I want to use blue now."

"I don't want to use pink."

"Why not? Pink is nice and it's not a girly colour." *accuse him of being sexist* "I insist on using blue. Give me the blue highlighter!"

"I don't want."

"But I want."


*Snatches highlighter away*

Scenario 3
Draw on his face with different colours when he's sleeping.

Scenario 4
Show him a bo song face and break his highlighters in half.

Scenario 5
Hide all his highlighters so he can't find them.

Scenario 6
Change the inside/ 'heart' of the highlighters so they become different colours.

Scenario 7
Place the nips of two different highlighters together so they become one horrible, disgusting colour.

Scenario 8
Hit the highlighter hard on the nip so that it goes in and becomes flat.

OK I should stop now before you people think I'm evil beyond imagination.

Disclaimer: Do not attempt this at home as it may result in people getting hurt (What? A highlighter can also double as a weapon. They're kind of hard.) Anyway I do it just for fun wth. Plus I've mastered the art of temper controlling so I know when to stop myself before the temperature reaches a gazillion and one degrees. I MAKE A VERY BAD COUPLES' THERAPIST SO DON'T CONSULT ME UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVEN IF I WERE THE LAST PERSON LIVING ON EARTH.

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